While rummaging through my old bedroom for high school photos for a blog that I will later write, I came upon my old journal. I began to read and came across this piece about love that relates to my post earlier.
July 10th, 2002
What is love? Some explain it as caring deeply for someone. Others say it is a drug, which is very much the truth, for it releases chemicals into your brain. Maybe heroine addicts are really just addicted to love?
Longing to love, yet careful of its forms, I write this in surmounting thought. A tightness in my chest haunts me at the thought. Is it searching for truth? Depression? Or is it the presently unobtainable desire for which my heart may someday be destined for?
Love isn't always accepted with outreached arms, nor is it picture perfect. Coming from one who has never loved before, these words flow blindly, yet there is an enhanced sense that it surrounds me. It may one day be destined to flow through my veins like the waters of a collapsed damn but currently it seems to be the dried up lakes in death valley.
Waking up alone with only your dreams carries a burden through your body. A slave to society, you awake to time. Time, it gets us all. Does time stop when in love? Does looking into a lover's eyes make all the worries of this short life cease to exist? Looking into that sparkle of her eyes, I believe one finds a gate into himself and learns more then all the books of the world could offer. Seeing the only true gate into someones mind and soul, allows one to see the truth that lays within themselves.
When once asked what is happiness, I responded "to have no worries?" By loving, does time stop? Do we forget all of our cares and thoughts for one split moment? When gazing into the gate's of our lover's eyes, do we experience genuine happiness?
The meaning of life is impossible to comprehend. Only the enlightened ones truly know and refuse to share the lesson, out of pure wisdom. But does the meaning of happiness mean to love? Do the two merely coincide? Does happiness exist without love, or likewise? Only in the end we will truly know, for the end that awaits us is sealed within.
I won't try to explain what I wrote and what answers have been obtained. I merely wanted to share my thoughts on love, when 19, and having never loved before....
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