Running Scared: A Labor Day Sprint

***Disclaimer: Unlike every story I tell where the facts are grossly exaggerated, the events below are true. Enjoy this rare occurrence.***

I originally intended to write a blog depicting my account of reading all 1017 pages of H.R. 3200: America's Health Choices Act of 2009 and a summary of the details, followed by my thoughts and concerns. Fortunately for you the reader, that will not happen today.

So here I was, talking to my mom this morning. Much like my "foot in mouth syndrome" of saying all the wrong things at all the wrong times, my mom has the lovely habit of ALWAYS calling me at the WRONG moments. To bypass the inevitability of ruining my evening plans, I would cut her off at the pass and call her nice and early.

So here I am talking on the phone out front, tending to One Leaf (another blog for another day), and picking dead leaves off the bushes. Suddenly through my peripheal vision, I catch a glimpse of a menacing dog across the street. I turn to investigate and promptly see four others. Rib cages showing, patches of fur missing, and collarless. I stood up.

Crap, they see me. Do I stand still and try not to look any in the eye? Should I slowly back away while facing them, trying to show that I pose no threat? Should I make a B-line for the house 50 yds up the driveway?

I slowly backed away then boom! I began running, phone in hand. My mom says it sounded like the Blair Witch Project. Everything silent besides heavy breathing and barking in the background. In retrospect (I should know this growing up around alpha male dogs) you never run or make quick movements when any animals are in a pack. They automatically see you as weak and instinctively as prey. So they chased my skinny, chain-smoking, hairy, white butt all the way to my door. Good thing I ran track and have yet to lose a sprinting challenge, even with a cocky cigarette in my mouth, since high school.

So I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran.



A bonus video for your enjoyment


After 411-ing animal control and being holed up in the house for 30 mins, by then the dogs shat in my yard and moved on, the ordeal was over. Besides a major car accident in my freshman year of highschool, that was the scariest moment of my life. The hair on my neck was standing up. I had goosebumps all over my arms and one hell of an adrenaline rush. Not to mention a story that in time will become lions chasing me in the savannahs of Africa.

How a pack of wild dogs formed two miles from center city Houston beats the hell out of me. I just know savannahs are a bitch to run through ;-)