Before I begin, I would graciously like to state that I am writing this on a brand new laptop. After the death of my previous computer, I am finally up and running once again. I'm not going to lie, I like Vista and all of its "gadgets."
With a fun-filled fourth of July holiday over and the monoteny of life beginning once again for many, I prepare to embark on my 2000 mile Journey. At times I wish my life would be monotoned like many others, yet unfortunately I have the annoying urge to find something that I cannot see nor understand. These past few years of trying to find myself and my happiness is frankly getting old. Granted, I have wild stories, have met many fantastic people, and began to undestand several different cultures that make up the melting pot that is the United States. Yet, I just want it to end. I am tired of moving and searching for, at this moment, some cruel self-imposing destiny. Deep down, I know this journey to Houston will be where I truely find my self and whatever the hell it is that I am looking for.
I have moved many times in my life. I am probably to closest thing to being a modern day nomad in a first world country. I have lived in six different states, one foreign country, and have moved a total of nine times. This being my tenth move and seventh state. I have found that everytime you move, the most emotional part is the packing. As you box up memories and trash unneeded articles acquired durring your stent in a place, you think of those you may never see again, and those that you will miss. Packing, I find, allows you to psychologically build a wall to your attachments and with every major move, the wall grows bigger.
So as I sift through my belongings in the upcomming days, my thoughts will be deep, my heart will be weak, and my wall will unfortunately grow. Perhaps one day I can stand on the highest mountain overlooking the rising morning sun, soaking in the beauty of the purple mountains, and yell "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" Making the valleys of nature's consciousness echo, forcing the birds to take flight, and foxes to lift their heads; prematurely turning the purple mountains into their daytime colors of the evergreen and aspen trees, commanding mother nature's acknowledgement.
Until that day, I must journey on, trying my hardest not to look back and find that one thing that I long for. Some unknown destiny that has tortured me for oh so long. I just pray that one day I will finally find my happiness and I can look back at the road I traveled and say, "well that sucked, good things its over!"
But despite my sorrows, I am excited to start another chapter in my life. The past few chapters have had their ups and downs. I've met many great personalities. I have loved, cried, drank, self-pittied, learned, laughed, sweated, and bled. I am sure the next chapter will contain many of the same things, but we all learn from our past and I shall plow ahead and make the future. So, here's to life's mysteries and its never ending journies for meaning! :-)
Houston: T-minus seven days.
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